The Noteworthies

hmm.. yes, toxic indeed.. (btw, toxic-britney spears is playing on my PC rite now, so that’s why i said toxic earlier.. sorta describes hwo life is at the mo’.. hmm..)

let’s start with the good stuff yaa..? i am now happy to say that i no longer lag behind in terms of technology.. yayy!! i have a camera-phone (thx to abg), a digital camera (thx to abg) and.. *drum rolls* a laptop (thx to abg).. hee hee.. yeah.. i know.. i am a pisau cukur.. ("ya Allah, ko nak buat apa benda2 tu semua..?? nak suruh scan disk pun ko tak reti" sms nunui pada aku.. hihi.. jeles arr tuu.. :P)

so, for those of you who asked me, why do i get married so young.. hihi.. the materialistic me would say this is why.. so that i can get mah`mann to buy me things without worrying him keeping an inventory with his own personal interest at the margins.. and even if he has his own personal interest, hey, as is i said, he’s mah`mann, baybee!! heehee!!

those aside, i am officially buried underneath a landslide of assignment.. (no, actually, the miracle would be when i am NOT buried underneath said catastrophe, since i seem to be ALWAYS buried underneath some).. to date, i have about, oh, i dunno, abt 7 proposals to try to finish.. 2 assignments for Pak Su.. 2 assignments for Pak Lah, our TITAS work needs to be edited still, tonnes of homework for mandarin and stat.. hmm..

of course, some can actually be delegated, but yours truly is not really big on letting go, to tell y’all the truth.. i acknowledge that.. i have control issues.. so i have to deal with all of this by myself.. not to say that my work is the 100% top-notch perfect work-lah, but at least, if i mess up, it’s my own mess that i have to clear up.. a heck of a lot easier for me to stomach than when i have to clear up some other people’s friggin mess..

i am pissed, however, with those who seemed to be unable to move without a shove.. for once, i’d like to sit in the back seat and just watch and see how things unfold.. but of course, the said control issue of course will crop up.. hmmmm.. crap!

woww.. a month worth of classes have taken place and here i am.. teheehee.. i don’t exactly know, how, along the way, i ever figured myself out to be smart or intelligent.. i knew there’s something about me, i mean, well, i AM in love with myself (another big teheehee, bak kata dzri, miss him like gilakk), but for others to acknowledge it is something else..

ok, so i’m an alpha-female.. i have to be in control.. papa knows i have control issues.. my defense has always been, "ha, tengok.. what happened if i dont control them..!!" but yes, as the wise ole ubung ‘zul’ rounders cakap, SHIT HAPPENS!! and ‘perfect’ as i may be to some, SHIT HAPPENS to me as well, dammit! but seriously, i am not angry, this is not an angry post..

you know what, let’s digress a bit.. i’ve always been about keeping a diary, a journal of my so-called life.. but i’ve got a problem prioritizing my entries.. should i post the mundane things i do.. "sept 7th, went to class only to sleep as the lecturer starts to drone.. ate nasik n ikan for lunch bla bla bla.." or should i post only the thought-provoking, life- changing events of my life? if i do the mundane stuff, hey, i can probably bombard y’all with thousands of constant insight into my life but if i attempt to post the so-called ‘enlightening’ post, i’d probably have like, 3 posts tops.. erm.. that aint exactly good for an aspiring writer right?

Of friends..

so, anyhow, back to the subject at hand.. school.. yes, i am officially a bitch.. i don’t say that cos i want y’all to look at me and say, "well, that’s a tough chick or sumthing" neither am i saying that so that u’ll pity me n love me, the reverse psychology thing and all.. i am a bitch cos i feel like i am one.. i whine.. and i bitch and i complaint.. but did i ever stop to muhasabah myself.. ermm.. not really..

i related an incident to the 4 veto powers of the group, abt how a guy was humiliated in the bus cos he didnt pay the exact fare.. i pitied the guy.. a total stranger.. but there i was at class, dishing out the hate treatment to my so-called friends.. i pitied a total stranger but totally hate the guts of friends?

granted, i know these friends.. or rather, looking at it subjectively, i know and remember most of the bad stuff of these friends (easily said, i may be a tad prejudiced.. ohhkayy, horribly prejudiced, HAPPY?).. and the thing is, i do try to look for a good thing to come from them.. but sadly, found none.. all i find is the, well, bad things that happened between us.. the "kat kedai pun ada CD tuu" and the whole fiasco i had to clear up while in practical.. am i that petty? am i unable to see the forest for the trees?

Of so-called mentors..

ow-ned? must be sapot? san fran-cheese-ko? crook’d? arghh!! stop itt!!!! i must not be a snob!! i mean, my english pun bukanlah hebat sangat.. i acknowledge that.. malay is still my mother tongue.. but to think that.. the fact that.. tsskkk.. i just expected soo bloody much more..!!! is it too much to ask for? forget about a 500,000 word vocabulary kind of teacher.. can’t they just find one that can speak a grammatically correct sentence? one sentence. . i have yet to hear one whole sentence which is correct in grammar or pronunciation.. unless, of course, you’d count answering "yes" to a question as a whole sentence!

i am soo bloody tired of people’s "tak apa" attitude.. "tak apalah ayat tak brp betul asalkan mesej sampai" hello.. i was too bloody distracted by your atrocious language to even focus on the point, if there was any.. don’t you get that? dan kalaulah betul bahasa inggeris tak begitu baik, kenapa tak mengajar dalam bahasa je? instead of english smeared with malay here and there, try laa malay with english here and there..

the argument about manglish notwithstanding, i still believe that we need to assimilate english into our daily lives. ini tidak, if there is a malay speaking english, that malay is arrogant. hello, i am still a malay even if i speak english, you know? does my english threaten you so? why couldnt my english make you, drive you, compel you to be better than me? cos it’s easier to be angry with me than to use your brain to learn english? what a cop-out!

of concluding..

ok.. so i don’t exactly know what this post is all about.. kan i dah cakap, i ramble.. i really have tonnes to do.. soo.. till later.. au revoir..

ok, so i bitch a lot.. pls dont stop loving me.. so i whine and i complaint (with good reasons), but pls dont stop caring.. yes, love me MORE when i DESERVE IT THE LEAST cos thats when i NEED love the MOST..

so, it’s been a pretty tense and somewhat heart-breaking week. revealed are my true standing amongst friends who are ’supposed’ loved ones as well as the true characters of said ‘friends’. ok, so that brings about the question, am i a good friend myself? well, i’m a self-confessed ‘crummy’ friend but i’m loyal nonetheless. say, years from now, if one of the friends i made during my teens were to be caught doing something really bad, eventhough i know and acknowledge that people change, i’d still be that person’s friends and hopefully not judge that person for what he did only on what that person was to me, a friend.

anyhoo.. here i am. stuck in rut i cant seem to get out of. seemed like the act that revealed my friends character has now become a test of my character. yes, i am 49% bitch, 51% sweetheart, so dont push it. will i be fair? will i push aside my prejudices? will i succeed at the very least to manage the team as well as the task at hand?

hmmmmm..

I just watched X-Men 3 : The Last Stand, loved it, but of course, I have problems with sad endings. Not satisfied with killing Scott aka Cyclops, Brad Ratner (is that how he spells his name?) had to go and kill Prof. X and Jean Grey as well. Oops, was that a spoiler for those who havent watched the movie?

Anyhoot.. I did what I usually do when I watch movies. I go off tangent, and create my own storyline. This one with another female character (it has to be a her cos I want her to get jiggy with Wolverine, sweeeeeeett!!) who happens to be Prof. X’s long-lost daughter. I know, he actually has a son, but refer to the statement in brackets.

And anyway, this female character is a mutant class 7 (sue me if I got my mutant classifications wrong and there’s no class 7) named Xandra Xavier (short for Alexandra of course). Her mum’s French and her mum hid her because the mumsy doesn’t get mutants at all. Oh yeah, she’s French cos I don’t want her to have any qualms about getting jiggy with Wolverine who’s still hung up on Jean. Oh yeah, before I forgot, Xandra’s power is very much like Jean, but get this, Xandra can actually control her power and control other people’s mind as well. That’s why she’s the only Class 7 mutant on the planet earth.

I see my version of the X-Men as somewhat a collection of stories of all the X-Men, meaning, what’s the story behind Storm, what really happened to Logan, the friendship between Prof. X and Magneto, stuff like that you know. and moving parallel to that is how the new threat of a band of human who is out to annihilate the mutants. But get this, they’re doing it to steal the mutants’ power and take over the world themselves, bwahahahahahhhh!!

So enter Magneto, trying to mend his ways and do good with Xandra, cos you see, he was the reason why mumsy hid Xandra. He convinced mumsy that Xandra’s mutant power is so powerful, so deadly, that Charles might even have to kill her, in order to save humanity of course. So, misguided mumsy went on into hiding, actually fearing for her baby’s life. Magneto in this movie is of course no longer a mutant, but he helps by offering his expertise to the band of mutant-power-stealing human. His expertise, that is, in knowing more about mutants than any human on the planet.(I mean, he was a mutant, ya know..)

Cut the story short, X-men saves the day. Xandra took a bullet to save Wolverine that everyone knows can save himself (cos his mutant power is rapid regeneration, that’s why the military implanted the adamantium steel into his body, he is the only living thing on the planet that can regenerate fast enough to cope with the injury that has to be inflicted to implant the adamantium in the first place. Yes, a common misconception that Wolverine’s mutant power is his adamantium claws) but Xandra somehow forgot. This is when Wolverine knew that what Xandra felt for him is more than that something you feel when you wanna get jiggy with someone.

But you know what, since this is my story, I ain’t gonna let Xandra die. Nope, she lives and married Logan. They had kids, run the Xavier School for Talented Youngsters and lived happily ever after. Oh yeah, now they get jiggy with it anytime they want.

YAYY!!