The Noteworthies

awh brother.. here we go again.. for the umpteenth time, nunui had to remind me who Zarina is.. btw, she is dzri’s latest lady love, cucu sedara tun dr. m n ada tertempias sikit dgn kerabat kedah (termasuklah tengku zawyah, ex-wife DK n kudin, current hubby of paula malai ali).. [noi, puaslah hati ko aku dah ingat semua ni ha? puas sangat? puas? PUAS? ko dah bayar bil air kat PUAS?)

why oh why is all of this relevant? because somehow, along the way, i’ve become more n more blur.. i seem to forget things faster than a friggin speedin bullet.. which earned me a new nick name, which i’m beginning to love : HALF-WIT NIT-WIT DIM-WIT.. dzri laughed tak hengat when nunui explained the name.. yeah yeah yeah, whatever.. like i care.. BOLEH BLAH!

some examples of my half-wittedness.. (haha, the pleasure of writing ur own memoirs, so to speak, is the freedom to censor anything deemed necessary to prevent future embarrasment) errr.. there was this one time, i mistook Nora as Diana.. but, BUT in my defense, i was new to the class, still getting to know the people plus the fact that their real names sounds alike.. but then again, HAHA, ye lah ye lah, aku blur..

but anyways, that isn’t important laa.. what’s more important is that the said landslide plaguing me before has now been lifted (cue "dringgg" *harp music*).. there will probably be more landslides in the very near future.. but for now, i am so free that i don’t really know what to do.. haha.. mid-terms are of course looming.. deadlines for TV Directing is so friggin near that i can smell its breath and all this of course brings me nearer to the finals.. tsskk..

by the way.. at least for the time being, my mantra will be "COMPLICATE THINGS WE MUST NOT!!" you gotta say it kinda like Yoda.. i don’t want to sweat the small stuff if i can.. it is my approach to handle the also afore-mentioned control issue plaguing my cluttered life.. apart from the tiny little small stuff that may directly have effect on the drama (okay, i typed MY DRAMA earlier actually, PRIDE has always been my sin) i promise, from now onwards to try and be more open to the capabilities of others.. true, all of them suck big time (haha, memang aku je yg best.. jgn jaki) but hey, pitted against me, even all 5 Apprentice winners will lose their breaths..

aite.. til later.. au revoir..

hmm.. yes, toxic indeed.. (btw, toxic-britney spears is playing on my PC rite now, so that’s why i said toxic earlier.. sorta describes hwo life is at the mo’.. hmm..)

let’s start with the good stuff yaa..? i am now happy to say that i no longer lag behind in terms of technology.. yayy!! i have a camera-phone (thx to abg), a digital camera (thx to abg) and.. *drum rolls* a laptop (thx to abg).. hee hee.. yeah.. i know.. i am a pisau cukur.. ("ya Allah, ko nak buat apa benda2 tu semua..?? nak suruh scan disk pun ko tak reti" sms nunui pada aku.. hihi.. jeles arr tuu.. :P)

so, for those of you who asked me, why do i get married so young.. hihi.. the materialistic me would say this is why.. so that i can get mah`mann to buy me things without worrying him keeping an inventory with his own personal interest at the margins.. and even if he has his own personal interest, hey, as is i said, he’s mah`mann, baybee!! heehee!!

those aside, i am officially buried underneath a landslide of assignment.. (no, actually, the miracle would be when i am NOT buried underneath said catastrophe, since i seem to be ALWAYS buried underneath some).. to date, i have about, oh, i dunno, abt 7 proposals to try to finish.. 2 assignments for Pak Su.. 2 assignments for Pak Lah, our TITAS work needs to be edited still, tonnes of homework for mandarin and stat.. hmm..

of course, some can actually be delegated, but yours truly is not really big on letting go, to tell y’all the truth.. i acknowledge that.. i have control issues.. so i have to deal with all of this by myself.. not to say that my work is the 100% top-notch perfect work-lah, but at least, if i mess up, it’s my own mess that i have to clear up.. a heck of a lot easier for me to stomach than when i have to clear up some other people’s friggin mess..

i am pissed, however, with those who seemed to be unable to move without a shove.. for once, i’d like to sit in the back seat and just watch and see how things unfold.. but of course, the said control issue of course will crop up.. hmmmm.. crap!

woww.. a month worth of classes have taken place and here i am.. teheehee.. i don’t exactly know, how, along the way, i ever figured myself out to be smart or intelligent.. i knew there’s something about me, i mean, well, i AM in love with myself (another big teheehee, bak kata dzri, miss him like gilakk), but for others to acknowledge it is something else..

ok, so i’m an alpha-female.. i have to be in control.. papa knows i have control issues.. my defense has always been, "ha, tengok.. what happened if i dont control them..!!" but yes, as the wise ole ubung ‘zul’ rounders cakap, SHIT HAPPENS!! and ‘perfect’ as i may be to some, SHIT HAPPENS to me as well, dammit! but seriously, i am not angry, this is not an angry post..

you know what, let’s digress a bit.. i’ve always been about keeping a diary, a journal of my so-called life.. but i’ve got a problem prioritizing my entries.. should i post the mundane things i do.. "sept 7th, went to class only to sleep as the lecturer starts to drone.. ate nasik n ikan for lunch bla bla bla.." or should i post only the thought-provoking, life- changing events of my life? if i do the mundane stuff, hey, i can probably bombard y’all with thousands of constant insight into my life but if i attempt to post the so-called ‘enlightening’ post, i’d probably have like, 3 posts tops.. erm.. that aint exactly good for an aspiring writer right?

Of friends..

so, anyhow, back to the subject at hand.. school.. yes, i am officially a bitch.. i don’t say that cos i want y’all to look at me and say, "well, that’s a tough chick or sumthing" neither am i saying that so that u’ll pity me n love me, the reverse psychology thing and all.. i am a bitch cos i feel like i am one.. i whine.. and i bitch and i complaint.. but did i ever stop to muhasabah myself.. ermm.. not really..

i related an incident to the 4 veto powers of the group, abt how a guy was humiliated in the bus cos he didnt pay the exact fare.. i pitied the guy.. a total stranger.. but there i was at class, dishing out the hate treatment to my so-called friends.. i pitied a total stranger but totally hate the guts of friends?

granted, i know these friends.. or rather, looking at it subjectively, i know and remember most of the bad stuff of these friends (easily said, i may be a tad prejudiced.. ohhkayy, horribly prejudiced, HAPPY?).. and the thing is, i do try to look for a good thing to come from them.. but sadly, found none.. all i find is the, well, bad things that happened between us.. the "kat kedai pun ada CD tuu" and the whole fiasco i had to clear up while in practical.. am i that petty? am i unable to see the forest for the trees?

Of so-called mentors..

ow-ned? must be sapot? san fran-cheese-ko? crook’d? arghh!! stop itt!!!! i must not be a snob!! i mean, my english pun bukanlah hebat sangat.. i acknowledge that.. malay is still my mother tongue.. but to think that.. the fact that.. tsskkk.. i just expected soo bloody much more..!!! is it too much to ask for? forget about a 500,000 word vocabulary kind of teacher.. can’t they just find one that can speak a grammatically correct sentence? one sentence. . i have yet to hear one whole sentence which is correct in grammar or pronunciation.. unless, of course, you’d count answering "yes" to a question as a whole sentence!

i am soo bloody tired of people’s "tak apa" attitude.. "tak apalah ayat tak brp betul asalkan mesej sampai" hello.. i was too bloody distracted by your atrocious language to even focus on the point, if there was any.. don’t you get that? dan kalaulah betul bahasa inggeris tak begitu baik, kenapa tak mengajar dalam bahasa je? instead of english smeared with malay here and there, try laa malay with english here and there..

the argument about manglish notwithstanding, i still believe that we need to assimilate english into our daily lives. ini tidak, if there is a malay speaking english, that malay is arrogant. hello, i am still a malay even if i speak english, you know? does my english threaten you so? why couldnt my english make you, drive you, compel you to be better than me? cos it’s easier to be angry with me than to use your brain to learn english? what a cop-out!

of concluding..

ok.. so i don’t exactly know what this post is all about.. kan i dah cakap, i ramble.. i really have tonnes to do.. soo.. till later.. au revoir..